Confessions of a serial mower

Still feeling rubbish and somewhat under the weather but pulled myself together sufficiently enough to go out for dinner last night for a pre-arranged get-together in local "Chelsea-cum-Suffolk" smart restaurant with dear old friends. We hadn't seen them for ages due to all sorts of reasons, so much catching up ensued. Anyway, just to brighten your Sunday on this very overcast grey Suffolk morning, two hysterical moments from last night.

Firstly, in our eagerness to catch-up, we all tried to read the menus, beak about, talk and drink at the same time. Mr. H, friend's husband puts down his menu to begin a long tale, and it promptly catches fire! The little unseen "tee light" candles strategically placed along the centre of the table, catching him and the menu unawares. The smart leather-look (we now know plastic) bound menu smolders and then burst into flames.
Flaming funny. We found it most amusing, the Maitre de did not. It was quickly doused. The "bonfire" smell permeated the entire eating area, and there we are, giggling like children, sat centre stage in prime spot window table, trying to act casual. As you do. Scornful eyes upon us.
By now I am almost hysterical with the silliness of it all - desperate for the loo but not daring to get up and walk in front of everyone. I think I was hyper from the fact I was just out.
Anyway I then ask friend how her father was coping in the nursing home, as he had become frail, depressed and somewhat forgetful. At 93 this is allowable, and quite normal. He was finding it hard to cope at home alone and refused to move in with them.
It appears he is settling in a bit too well. Soon found his "sea legs".
Friends were summoned in to Matron on Friday about "his behaviour". He has acquired a lady friend, 85, and she has taken to visiting him in his room, they are noisy and inappropriate behaviour had ensued!! They had started "sleeping" together - seemingly frail old boy has made a remarkable recovery, found a new jest for life and started to remember old joys; frail old biddy, we think, has set her sights on his unsold bungalow!! Matron says old biddy is the instigator and friend's father was not doing enough to discourage her! Could she have a word with him!
So friend says "there she was, sat on the end of his bed, saying whats this I hear about you and Ada!" Old boys reply "Whatever she said, she was willing and I do not want to marry her!". The situation is not really sorted but it certainly ensured our evening was hilarious, and apologies to those sitting round a table of four old foogie, now in darkness (the candles were confiscated) crying with laughter!
We may however have to find a new venue for our next catch-up! The food incidentally was superb!