Confessions of a serial mower - Out in front
Its not often that I am rendered speechless, but Saturday was such an occasion.
We had accepted an invitation to watch Goddaughter give her final speech at Parents' Day at Saint Felix at Southwold and to partake of a picnic lunch on the lawns afterwards.
This is now a co-educational private School, having educated at least seven members and three generations of goddaughters' maternal and paternal family.Her grandmother is a GP, still practicing at 80. One of her aunts if a published historical author. Her mother an accomplished cook. An illustrious lot let me tell you.
We were highly honoured to be included with the family and all these old "Felicians"!
I had offered to make the pudding and actually pulled off a mixed berry fruit mould which finally set and plopped out of its dish on command, in true Delia fashion.
A triumph!!
We met in the entrance to the School at the appointed time of 10.30 sharp! The two grandmothers, mother, father, etc etc and GOH and I. My friend had requested that we dress smart casual for a summer picnic.
Don't you just hate that phrase? "Smart" - I know where I am; "Casual" I can do.
We duly complied and waited to be seated at the back of the assembled 900 pupils and guests, with hopefully, a good view of "precious girl".
Not a bit of it; there we were, being ushered to the front. Yes, the front row in direct line with the podium and all the great and the good Governors seated on the stage! I could hear the folks behind saying "who the hell are they" - with good reason.
"I think there has been some mistake" I muttered as I was shown to my seat. My name was marked on the seat. The grandmothers being seated about halfway back down the hall somewhere with the "also rans"!
Utter Embarrassment.
I am now looking round at the Chanel and Prada numbers seated behind me wishing to goodness my smart casual was a bit more Ascot than Country Show! One such lady is a very well known actress off the telly. Holy Moly, what was going on.
Turns out GOH has now been appointed as official Building Surveyor to the School and his name had been noticed on the guest list and thus we had been elevated to the front! He also, from where I was sitting, appeared to have scored a hit with the Head of Governors and Head of History, both females! Oh yes, old smoothie is jolly useful at times. If only I had known in advance!
Poor "precious one" has to then climb the stage and do her speech with us sitting bang slap in the front opposite her. She was wonderful it has to be said and received well deserved prolonged applause. She even received a bronze statue in recognition of her contribution to school life and sport. GOH of course couldn't resist the temptation to take a quick snap of her, in all her glory!! And here she is - da da!!!
The guest speaker was an old Felician girl who has gone on to be a Major in the Army, and had done stints in the Falklands, Northern Ireland and Iraq. She was hysterical and an inspiration to all there. Male and Female. She would take no prisoners. She extolled the virtues of a good sound education. She stood strong, stocky and solid. You would want her on your side and at your side. I felt somewhat heartened that women like this are in our forces.
She trained at Sandhurst and gave us some details of what the recruits are like these days. She said that 50% of new recruits into the Army have the reading age of 9. Nine! I could feel my jaw drop. It appears that the Army then has to educate the new intake until they have the reading age of 15. This then enables them to read instructions, commands and maps etc.
God Almighty, and these poor souls are given guns!
I have no doubt that her words were true. The audience in general around her looked shocked. The teaching staff did not.
She then went on to give us a small insight into some of the more wittier remarks found on the reports of some of less bright of the new intakes. Such as "the wheel is turning but the hamster is dead", "would not breed from this young man",
"stand close enough and you will hear the ocean through his ears"!
We closed the speeches and prize giving with the School Hymn.. "He who would valiant be 'gainst all disaster...." and the School Prayer.
"O God, who shewest forth They Light in every age; we thank Thee for Thy Servant,
Felix, The Apostle of East Anglia.
Grant unto all who teach and learn in the School called by his name,
We had accepted an invitation to watch Goddaughter give her final speech at Parents' Day at Saint Felix at Southwold and to partake of a picnic lunch on the lawns afterwards.
This is now a co-educational private School, having educated at least seven members and three generations of goddaughters' maternal and paternal family.Her grandmother is a GP, still practicing at 80. One of her aunts if a published historical author. Her mother an accomplished cook. An illustrious lot let me tell you.
We were highly honoured to be included with the family and all these old "Felicians"!
I had offered to make the pudding and actually pulled off a mixed berry fruit mould which finally set and plopped out of its dish on command, in true Delia fashion.
A triumph!!
We met in the entrance to the School at the appointed time of 10.30 sharp! The two grandmothers, mother, father, etc etc and GOH and I. My friend had requested that we dress smart casual for a summer picnic.
Don't you just hate that phrase? "Smart" - I know where I am; "Casual" I can do.
We duly complied and waited to be seated at the back of the assembled 900 pupils and guests, with hopefully, a good view of "precious girl".
Not a bit of it; there we were, being ushered to the front. Yes, the front row in direct line with the podium and all the great and the good Governors seated on the stage! I could hear the folks behind saying "who the hell are they" - with good reason.
"I think there has been some mistake" I muttered as I was shown to my seat. My name was marked on the seat. The grandmothers being seated about halfway back down the hall somewhere with the "also rans"!
Utter Embarrassment.
I am now looking round at the Chanel and Prada numbers seated behind me wishing to goodness my smart casual was a bit more Ascot than Country Show! One such lady is a very well known actress off the telly. Holy Moly, what was going on.
Turns out GOH has now been appointed as official Building Surveyor to the School and his name had been noticed on the guest list and thus we had been elevated to the front! He also, from where I was sitting, appeared to have scored a hit with the Head of Governors and Head of History, both females! Oh yes, old smoothie is jolly useful at times. If only I had known in advance!
Poor "precious one" has to then climb the stage and do her speech with us sitting bang slap in the front opposite her. She was wonderful it has to be said and received well deserved prolonged applause. She even received a bronze statue in recognition of her contribution to school life and sport. GOH of course couldn't resist the temptation to take a quick snap of her, in all her glory!! And here she is - da da!!!
The guest speaker was an old Felician girl who has gone on to be a Major in the Army, and had done stints in the Falklands, Northern Ireland and Iraq. She was hysterical and an inspiration to all there. Male and Female. She would take no prisoners. She extolled the virtues of a good sound education. She stood strong, stocky and solid. You would want her on your side and at your side. I felt somewhat heartened that women like this are in our forces.
She trained at Sandhurst and gave us some details of what the recruits are like these days. She said that 50% of new recruits into the Army have the reading age of 9. Nine! I could feel my jaw drop. It appears that the Army then has to educate the new intake until they have the reading age of 15. This then enables them to read instructions, commands and maps etc.
God Almighty, and these poor souls are given guns!
I have no doubt that her words were true. The audience in general around her looked shocked. The teaching staff did not.
She then went on to give us a small insight into some of the more wittier remarks found on the reports of some of less bright of the new intakes. Such as "the wheel is turning but the hamster is dead", "would not breed from this young man",
"stand close enough and you will hear the ocean through his ears"!
We closed the speeches and prize giving with the School Hymn.. "He who would valiant be 'gainst all disaster...." and the School Prayer.
"O God, who shewest forth They Light in every age; we thank Thee for Thy Servant,
Felix, The Apostle of East Anglia.
Grant unto all who teach and learn in the School called by his name,
to serve Thee here with energy and love, and ever spread the knowledge of Thy Truth.
Through Jesus Christ our Lord". Amen
We then ventured out onto the playing fields for our picnic lunch of smoked salmon, champagne, salads and fruit mould with proper china, crystal glasses and linen tablecloth and a distant view of the Sea.
Through Jesus Christ our Lord". Amen
We then ventured out onto the playing fields for our picnic lunch of smoked salmon, champagne, salads and fruit mould with proper china, crystal glasses and linen tablecloth and a distant view of the Sea.
Truly British and Proud!!
The sun even shone down on our smart casual little ensemble!
The grandmothers appear to have forgiven us!
